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Moments like this are the worst -- the ones where the barriers fall, and when Sirius is himself again, and Remus remembers what it feels like to be happy
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her posh accent wouldn't be out of place in the Ministry but is stranger than strange in Knockturn Alley
How much of the air's chill is the frost, and how much is the banshee, who sucks energy and heat and life out of everything near?
But the goblin's shoes are scuffed, and his hands callused. He may not have risen to the banking caste, but whatever this one does, he works hard, like most goblins in their way. He wonders if the goblin is taking in Remus' own threadbare cloak, what conclusion he might draw from that.
he wishes to be home, wherever that is. Number 12 Grimmauld Place isn't it.
It could be, if he were free to choose. But he is not.
it is too cold out for man or beast, or those who happen to be both.
Sirius hasn't been a starving dog for eight months now, but still he eats, and he eats, and he never has enough
that they'll talk about joining forces with Voldemort as though it meant nothing. As far as they're concerned, it's merely a choice between two evils."
But if they can't tell the difference between that sort of evil and Voldemort's--"
"I think they can tell the difference," Remus says quietly. "I just don't think they care."
was still too unsteady after his years as a prisoner and then a fugitive -- then, to Remus' consternation, prescribed the one course of action guaranteed to destabilize Sirius further: He made him a prisoner again
Moments like this are the worst -- the ones where the barriers fall, and when Sirius is himself again, and Remus remembers what it feels like to be happy
Remus forgets, sometimes, that Sirius watches him as carefully as he watches Sirius. He says quietly, "That's not the potion, Sirius. That's what being a werewolf does to you."
among the many rules he uses to guide their hours together is that only one of them is allowed to fall apart at a time
Which pretty much precludes sleeping with him or even -- and this is worse -- telling him the truth. About almost anything.
But Sirius himself hasn't changed at all."
He's wrong; Sirius is getting worse. But that's not exactly a point that would help Remus here.
Dumbledore continues, "He's unstable, Remus. Even volatile. Sirius is important to us all -- not only because of who he is, and what he's suffered, but because he is so very important to Harry
it's starting to be the same as lying to him. And too many people have lied to Sirius. I don't want to be another
He doesn't have to feign the irritation; they didn't sсriрt this scene, but Snape knows very well where to direct his jabs.
Not that you had much farther to fall -- and yet you manage to plumb new depths."
………. "You're the one who'd know about sinking low. You're the one who was a Death Eater.
Snape's face is even harsher than usual, and Remus is pretty sure it's not all an act. "At least I can accept what I am -- Werewolf."
The few people who didn't react to "Death Eater" react now. Everyone is staring, and the revulsion is all directed at Remus
"Why should I accept a half-breed, inhuman creature as the equal of pureblooded wizards?"
This happens more and more often, now: They walk right to the edge, then step back. Unfortunately, seduction works much the same way
Then they can act like normal people again.
Normal. Remus laughs at himself, muffling the sound in the pillow.
When your rationalizations get this stupid, he tells himself, you're in too deep. But he knew that already.
Tonks' face falls -- metaphorically, not literally, which with her is an option.
No, I suppose it helps not to have any feelings," Remus says. "Must come in handy, when you're telling a man who spent 12 years in Azkaban for murders he didn't commit that he has to go back to jail, only now it'll be his friends locking him up, not Dementors, so that's lucky for him
Tonks smiles, encouraged. "There you go. Besides, some of the Order members are tough old nuts; they say we've made enough exceptions already. Stupid gits."
Remus freezes, his body stiff, his mouth half-open. Kingsley runs one hand over his scalp and looks skyward, for the moment unable to meet Remus' eyes.
The exception they made, of course, is for a werewolf. Remus knows how deeply his kind are distrusted, but he hadn't realized how deeply it ran within the Order itself
that kind of prejudice is foreign to her; Tonks wouldn't care less about being assigned to work with a werewolf or a ghost or a super-intelligent penguin
Of all the people who've ever doubted him for what he is, Sirius is the only one who paid the price. He can trust Sirius, because Sirius has suffered for not trusting him. That's as close to healthy as Remus is going to get........
own his duty, but Remus will never again let them own his mind, for better or for worse. He kisses Sirius deeply, then ………. Sirius hesitates for just a moment, until Remus whispers, "Trust me."
"I do," Sirius says. "I do."
And if we
find ourselves inhabited by winter,
the mind's blank sky branching nowhere,
snow the best the cold heart can hope for,
buried under time's fraying comforter,
hand on naked back or thigh on thigh
can send us south into the middle of July.
-- Ron Wallace
Moments like this are the worst -- the ones where the barriers fall, and when Sirius is himself again, and Remus remembers what it feels like to be happy
читать дальшеhag
her posh accent wouldn't be out of place in the Ministry but is stranger than strange in Knockturn Alley
How much of the air's chill is the frost, and how much is the banshee, who sucks energy and heat and life out of everything near?
But the goblin's shoes are scuffed, and his hands callused. He may not have risen to the banking caste, but whatever this one does, he works hard, like most goblins in their way. He wonders if the goblin is taking in Remus' own threadbare cloak, what conclusion he might draw from that.
he wishes to be home, wherever that is. Number 12 Grimmauld Place isn't it.
It could be, if he were free to choose. But he is not.
it is too cold out for man or beast, or those who happen to be both.
Sirius hasn't been a starving dog for eight months now, but still he eats, and he eats, and he never has enough
that they'll talk about joining forces with Voldemort as though it meant nothing. As far as they're concerned, it's merely a choice between two evils."
But if they can't tell the difference between that sort of evil and Voldemort's--"
"I think they can tell the difference," Remus says quietly. "I just don't think they care."
was still too unsteady after his years as a prisoner and then a fugitive -- then, to Remus' consternation, prescribed the one course of action guaranteed to destabilize Sirius further: He made him a prisoner again
Moments like this are the worst -- the ones where the barriers fall, and when Sirius is himself again, and Remus remembers what it feels like to be happy
Remus forgets, sometimes, that Sirius watches him as carefully as he watches Sirius. He says quietly, "That's not the potion, Sirius. That's what being a werewolf does to you."
among the many rules he uses to guide their hours together is that only one of them is allowed to fall apart at a time
Which pretty much precludes sleeping with him or even -- and this is worse -- telling him the truth. About almost anything.
But Sirius himself hasn't changed at all."
He's wrong; Sirius is getting worse. But that's not exactly a point that would help Remus here.
Dumbledore continues, "He's unstable, Remus. Even volatile. Sirius is important to us all -- not only because of who he is, and what he's suffered, but because he is so very important to Harry
it's starting to be the same as lying to him. And too many people have lied to Sirius. I don't want to be another
He doesn't have to feign the irritation; they didn't sсriрt this scene, but Snape knows very well where to direct his jabs.
Not that you had much farther to fall -- and yet you manage to plumb new depths."
………. "You're the one who'd know about sinking low. You're the one who was a Death Eater.
Snape's face is even harsher than usual, and Remus is pretty sure it's not all an act. "At least I can accept what I am -- Werewolf."
The few people who didn't react to "Death Eater" react now. Everyone is staring, and the revulsion is all directed at Remus
"Why should I accept a half-breed, inhuman creature as the equal of pureblooded wizards?"
This happens more and more often, now: They walk right to the edge, then step back. Unfortunately, seduction works much the same way
Then they can act like normal people again.
Normal. Remus laughs at himself, muffling the sound in the pillow.
When your rationalizations get this stupid, he tells himself, you're in too deep. But he knew that already.
Tonks' face falls -- metaphorically, not literally, which with her is an option.
No, I suppose it helps not to have any feelings," Remus says. "Must come in handy, when you're telling a man who spent 12 years in Azkaban for murders he didn't commit that he has to go back to jail, only now it'll be his friends locking him up, not Dementors, so that's lucky for him
Tonks smiles, encouraged. "There you go. Besides, some of the Order members are tough old nuts; they say we've made enough exceptions already. Stupid gits."
Remus freezes, his body stiff, his mouth half-open. Kingsley runs one hand over his scalp and looks skyward, for the moment unable to meet Remus' eyes.
The exception they made, of course, is for a werewolf. Remus knows how deeply his kind are distrusted, but he hadn't realized how deeply it ran within the Order itself
that kind of prejudice is foreign to her; Tonks wouldn't care less about being assigned to work with a werewolf or a ghost or a super-intelligent penguin
Of all the people who've ever doubted him for what he is, Sirius is the only one who paid the price. He can trust Sirius, because Sirius has suffered for not trusting him. That's as close to healthy as Remus is going to get........
own his duty, but Remus will never again let them own his mind, for better or for worse. He kisses Sirius deeply, then ………. Sirius hesitates for just a moment, until Remus whispers, "Trust me."
"I do," Sirius says. "I do."
And if we
find ourselves inhabited by winter,
the mind's blank sky branching nowhere,
snow the best the cold heart can hope for,
buried under time's fraying comforter,
hand on naked back or thigh on thigh
can send us south into the middle of July.
-- Ron Wallace