inception-kink.livejournal.com/756.html?thread=...
"Morning, love," says Eames, head abruptly popping into view, so fast that he had to have been waiting. "How are we feeling?"
"Lousy," groans Arthur.
"Of course," says Cobb, sternly, head popping in from the opposite direction. "That's to be expected."
Arthur tries to sit up, and a bag of crushed ice falls onto what appears to be a large fleece blanket that has been tucked in around his shoulders.
"I'm getting some mixed messages here," says Arthur.
"The ice is Eames' doing," says Cobb.
"For your forehead," says Eames. "You get fevers when you don't sleep much, you know."
"And the blanket is from me," says Cobb. "Because your body temperature drops when you don't eat enough."
"Did you," says Arthur, "consider settling the debate by using the thermometer in the first aid kit."
"...We did," says Eames.
"...We used the thermometer," says Cobb. Their eyes wander, looking everywhere but directly at Arthur.
Arthur is beset by a creeping suspicion.
"It's... an oral thermometer," he says. "You put it... inside the mouth..."
There is a long silence.
"Oh, yeah," says Cobb. "Obviously."
"Definitely," adds Eames.
They cough in unison.
"Cobb," shouts Eames. "I need some help here, Cobb!"
Immediately Cobb comes barging back through the door, shoving his phone back into his pocket.
"What happened," he demands.
"I think I'm going to molest him," whispers Eames, voice awed. "You need to stop me."
"Touch him and you live the rest of your life out in limbo," says Cobb.
"Too late," says Arthur.
"Eames," yells Cobb.
"I stopped, didn't I!" protests Eames. "Don't I get credit for exercising self-control!"
"Step back," says Cobb. "You sit in that chair over there, I'll sit in this chair over here, and you ask me for permission whenever you need to get up for anything."
"I don't even want to know what you'd be like with your actual children," says Eames, but takes a seat anyway.
"How are you doing," Cobb asks Arthur.
"Pretty well, considering," says Arthur.
"You just told me you felt lousy," interrupts Eames.
"That's because-- that's what the 'considering' is doing there," says Arthur. "You are what is being considered. Considering the presence and proximity of Eames, I am doing pretty well."
"This could be serious," says Cobb. "You need a diagnosis."
Yusuf is by profession a chemist, so really there's nothing very odd there. But they don't know where Ariadne has gotten her lab coat, or the stethoscope draped over the folds of her checkered scarf. As is usually the case with Ariadne, they are a little afraid to ask.
"Is the differential staff all present," calls Ariadne, rapping the whiteboard with a marker.
"I'm the only one on it," says Yusuf.
"All present, then," says Ariadne. "Right, Dr. Yusuf, list the patient's symptoms."
"Fever!" says Yusuf.
Fever, writes Ariadne on the whiteboard.
"Hunger!" says Yusuf.
"Dr. Yusuf," says Ariadne, "hunger due to not eating is not a symptom."
"Actually, fever is the only symptom," says Yusuf.
"This could be anything!" cries Ariadne. "It could be lupus!"
"It's never lupus," they add under their breath.
"Except when it is," says Yusuf. "Oh god, Dr. Ariadne, what if it's ebola?"
"What is it with you and ebola," says Ariadne.
"It's a damn scary disease," says Yusuf. "I've read about it online. It's airborne."
"I do not have ebola," yells Arthur from the couch.
"You don't know that," says Cobb.
"This is impossible!" Ariadne throws her marker down. "We'll have to start from the basics. Dr. Yusuf, hand me that anatomy book. We will begin by sketching a diagram of the patient's internal organs."
It takes her twenty minutes to get to the lungs.
"Would you mind hurrying up?" says Yusuf. "I don't think I can hold this book up for much longer."
"Precision is key," says Ariadne.
"No, it's not," says Yusuf. "You're not building a person."
Twenty minutes later, Ariadne has progressed to the small intestines, but there is something slightly strange about her picture.
"Dr. Ariadne," says Yusuf, "why is the intestine connected to the esophagus?"
"It's a Penrose Arthur!" says Ariadne, beaming.